Week of November 12-18 - Question 3

A concept from this week that I found really interesting are the different relationship types. I wasn’t aware that relationships could be classified into different categories, but they totally make sense. The five different relationship types are vital, total, passive-congenial, devitalized, and conflict-habituated marriage. Vital marriage is a relationship that is very close and where the partners want to physically be with each other all the time. Total is similar, except that the partners aren’t always continuously together. Passive-congenial describes relationships in which the partners are polite and interact, but deal mostly with superficial matters. Next, devitalized is a relationship in which the partners are bored with the relationship. And lastly, conflict-habituated marriage is a relationship that the partners are simply incompatible. I’ve know people that have been involved in each of these types of relationships, and I think the most common type that I’ve observed would have to be a vital marriage

Week of November 12-18 - Question 2

I think that in fifty years, the whole meaning of marriage will evolve into something completely different. I think people are going to have a broader mindset of who can get married, what the best age is, and I think that interracial and same-sex marriages will be absolutely fine. I also think that less people will feel the need to sign documents and put a ring on it in order to be with someone for the rest of their lives. I personally don’t see marriage as something that I necessarily want to do. I like the idea and concept of it, but I don’t see the point of having a huge ceremony to celebrate the love two people have for each other. I see how that was a nice thing to do fifty years ago, but considering how the meaning of marriage has changed so drastically, I don’t think that people should have to feel entitled to do it. A lot of my friends think that if they get married, it means that they will be with the person for the rest of their lives. Unfortunately, with drive-thru divorce kiosks in Nevada and divorce lawyers, the chances of a marriage lasting all of eternity are very slim these days. I just hope that in fifty years people will be more open to the idea of not having to participate in it, but are still able to entertain the idea of (and find) someone who they can spend the rest of their lives with

Week of November 12-18 - Question 1

To me, a family is not defined by a heterosexual man and woman with children. I believe that family is defined by an elevated level of trust that two or more people share. This trust seamlessly transitions into love. I consider family members as people who share this bond that look out for one another. I don’t think that people necessarily need to be bonded by blood in order to be considered family members. My best friend and I have known each other for fourteen years and I consider her my sister. She knows everything about me and although we’re both busy at times, I know if I ever need her she will be there for me. I think that if someone wants to define family differently from mine, I’m in no position to judge their opinion. For example, I find polygamy to be very strange and I don’t understand it, but I would never say that it doesn’t fit the definition of family. The only type of relationship that I have some issues with are arranged marriages. Unless the marriage is arranged and the two individuals make a connection and build trust, I don’t see how they can be defined as family. To me, a piece of paper and a ring has no influence on whether or not you have a stable relationship. It’s about the bond, I can’t say that enough. I wish more people understood that

Week of November 5-11 - Question 3

A subject that I found really interesting in this chapter was that of navigation. Navigation is a process of commitment to your partner that involves going through hardships, good times and bad, as well as dealing with unpleasant surprises. I’ve noticed that many couples don’t successfully navigate their relationships well nowadays. Divorce is very common and it’s rare to see a couple successfully navigate through life unless it’s in a movie. Many couples don’t know how to keep intimacy alive in a relationship after a good amount of time. This is where relational culture comes in, which is an underground world consisting of rules, patterns, understandings, and interpreting what partners need to do in their relationships. It involves ways that couples manage their relational dialectics that include rules and rituals as well as everyday interaction. Another part of navigating is placemaking, which is the process of creating a comfortable personal environment that reflects the values and tastes of the couple.

Week of November 5-11 - Question 2

I have definitely experienced a relationship in which commitment was not present. My last boyfriend and I were together for nearly three years and loved each other very much; in fact, we still do. However, I was his first girlfriend and the fact that he could see himself committing to me in the long run really freaked him out. So much in fact, that he slowly distanced himself so that the commitment between us literally just faded. I haven’t been in a relationship in which there was commitment but not love. But, I’ve definitely witnessed it. My ex’s parents were married for twenty years. They’re currently divorced because they just didn’t love each other anymore. The only reason that they stayed together was for the kids, but even that becomes unbearable after a while. I think that commitment and love go hand in hand. You cannot have a relationship work without each one being present. I mean, if you really tried you could. But it would definitely not be an enjoyable experience.

Week of November 5-11 - Question 1

Posting misleading information about yourself in an online capacity which is being read by a great many other people is unethical and immoral. The person or persons who see the profile begin to believe things that are not true and may find out somewhere later down the line creating more problems for both parties. Online dating site profiles are easy to create and are quite plentiful. However, just as much deception can be present in a relationship that occurs in a face to face relationship. Not very many people are able to read body language and so they are lied to in relationships and never even know it. In an online relationship you can mask who you are and what you do up until you have to see someone via webcam. Online relationships also seem to have a higher percentage of cheating that occurs. In both cases it comes down to basic human nature. Not everyone in the world has morals or ethics and is willing to put them into practice. Deception is just as likely to happen in person as it is face to face.

Week of October 29-November 4 - Question 1

I think that it’s really interesting that there is a website dedicated solely to friendship on the internet. The advice forum has a lot of great topics that were discussed in the chapter such as Friendship Advice, More Than Friends Advice, Life Advice, and everything in between. I was really disappointed to find that when I clicked on the subtopic “Problems with Friends”, it was littered with spam and I didn’t see a single legitimate post regarding the subject on the first page. I think that this site could be a great tool to help others reflect on and strengthen their friendships if it wasn’t so cluttered with spam. Because there are no posts in the subtopics, I can’t say that the website does a very good job of raising issues that were discussed in the chapter, but the topics themselves do reflect a lot of the major topics that the author went over.

Week of October 29-November 4 - Question 2

My best friend Nicole and I have been inseparable for about twelve years now. During this period, we have made a lot of personal investments with one another including time, effort, thought, and feeling. We have built trust with each other by doing what we say we will do and keeping our promises. Not only that, but she has been there through thick and thin and has been the most emotionally reliable person I know. We communicate trust by confiding in one another and helping each other out with no limitations. We have built acceptance by counting on each other and accepting each other’s flaws. For example, as an adolescent I was extremely self-conscious and over time I developed a psychological disorder called exercise bulimia. Without thinking twice about it, she accepted me and my problem and helped me through it. It was a slow process, but it showed me how much she accepted me and it strengthened our trust. Lastly, we have built closeness by talking and listening to one another. Throughout the early stages of our friendship, we stayed in touch by writing letters to each other after I moved away. After a few years of doing this and after we got cell phones, we were constantly talking on the phone and texting each other. This turned into skyping and facetiming, until we eventually wound up going to the same university. By talking to one another we are able to understand our inner selves and provide emotional support.

Week of October 29-November 4 - Question 3

Sexual Attraction is a concept that I found interesting from the section Pressures on Friendships. I’m the kind of girl that associates mostly with men, mostly because I feel that I’m able to communicate my ideas with them better. A lot of my closest friends are guys that are fairly attractive and although it goes unsaid, there are sexual tensions in most of these friendships. The reading states that “when sexual interest is expressed in a friendship, the friends need to have an explicit talk to decide if they are going to remain platonic friends, become friends with benefits, or become romantically involved.” I think that is solid because it has recently happened to me. The sexual tension became problematic between a friend and I and I felt awkward bringing other guys around him (out of fear of making him uncomfortable). We had a talk over the phone and decided that it’s best not to complicate things and that we should just remain platonic friends. I think everyone experiences this situation at some point in their lives and I find it really interesting with how others approach it.